Book Recommendation: War of Words - Paul Tripp
/I recently read Paul Tripp's War of Words and was reminded how important our words and our view of conflict impact our day to day relationships. Two concepts really jumped out to me: how our use of words is a representation of either a true gospel or a misrepresentation of God's word and how every believer is called to Biblical confrontation and reconciliation. Below the excerpts are listed out, with the parenthesis as a summary in my own words for clarity.
Gospel of our words:
1. God has a wonderful plan for our words that is far better than anything we could come up with on our own.
2. Sin has radically altered our agenda for our words, resulting in much hurt, confusion, and chaos.
3. In Christ Jesus we find the grace that provides all that we need to speak as God has planned.
4. The Bible plainly and simply teaches us how to get from where we are to where God wants us to be.
Model of Biblical Confrontation:
E - Examine Your Heart (think through your own motivation and timing for addressing conflict with another)
N - Note Your Calling (as a child of God; as a reconciler and redeemer in the world)
C - Check Your Attitude (pray for peace; be intentional about your nonverbal appearance)
O - Own Your Faults (confess to God and the one you offended; be aware you may be operating out of blind spots)
U - Use Words Wisely (think through what you need to communicate and how to lovingly express it)
R - Reflect On Scripture (allow the Holy Spirit to guide you to applicable Scripture and pray through it)
A - Always Be Prepared To Listen (communication is a two way street so it's just as important to listen well)
G - Grant Time For A Response (give the other party time to fully process; don't press for an immediate response)
E - Encourage The Person With The Gospel (use the conversation to remind each other of God's promises)
There are many helpful insights in this book and I wholly recommend it to individuals or couples working to improve how they speak to others and how to enter into conflict well.